This is one I never found an answer to in my parenting books. How do you get a rambunctious, noisy, busy toddler to be quiet and still for an hour? What do you do about baby’s nap time? How do you fill your spiritual sponge when you’re surrounded by children who need constant attention or else they’ll be running up and down the aisles? The books give suggestions for how to mind your toddler on airplanes, in bathrooms, at the park, at the movies, but Heaven forbid they mention church. Surrounded on all sides by my neighbors and friends, all gathered together for a nice, quiet, spiritual meeting, the last thing I want is for my toddler to be the one wreaking havoc in the back (I’ve given up sitting near the front).
First: How to keep them in your pew. I always pick a pew that butts up against a wall, so at least one exit is covered. Then we pull out the church bag. It’s full of snacks, paper and pencils, toys, books, and a special quiet book grandma made. This bag only surfaces on Sunday and can usually hold their attention for half an hour.
The second half hour can be more of a struggle. Evee is tired and starts getting really restless, so one of us gets to wrestle her as she crawls up and down and all around. Sarah gets bored and starts pestering the people in the pews around us. If we’re lucky there’s a family with kids behind us she can start sharing toys and snacks with. If we’re not lucky it’s an older couple who’re actually trying to listen to what’s going on at the front.
When all else fails and the kids are getting too rowdy, we remove them from the scene. I usually try to make this exit right before the kicking and screaming starts, so that I’m not dragging Sarah bodily out the door behind me. We go to an empty classroom and have a little time out and a talk about how we act in church. Sometimes this actually works (angelic blessings, anyone?).
Second: What about nap time? Church starts at nine for us, and what time do babies nap in the morning? Nine. With Sarah we kind of just stopped going to church for a year until she gave up the first nap, but with Evee we’re trying to power through. We take turns sitting in the mother’s lounge, or one of us sits out in the foyer with her as she has her melt down. As long as we remember her binky and a bottle of milk it’s usually not too bad, but last week we all just went home after fifteen minutes. The first nap, as with all things, falls into the category of: this, too, shall pass.
Third: How to get anything out of church when you have a couple of darling monster children. I’m not exactly sure yet, but I do know that there is a difference in the weeks when we do go and when we don’t. I know Sarah loves to go to church, and that that joy comes from something more than just getting to wear a pretty dress and do her hair nicely. Even when she takes the opportunity to dance down the aisle like a ballerina during the sacrament hymn, I can still feel the importance of what we’re doing there as a family, and that makes it all worth it.
Fourth: Just ignore everyone else, unless they’re giving you encouraging advice. My favorite people are the ones who smile at my kids as they’re fighting loudly over a toy and say something like, “My kids were just like that. Don’t worry. They turned out fine.”
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